I have a confession;

it's really not shocking or special, or even worth posting, but I'm watching my last four loads of laundry dry, so might as well pass the time.
I'm so goddamn insecure. And yes, I realize that's worth an eye roll and and "jesus christ shut up", but really really. I hate picking profile pictures on facebook because I'm convinced they're all awkward and unattractive in some aspect. I know I'm a size two, but that doesn't stop me from shuddering whenever I look at myself in the mirror. I hate watching myself walk in shorts; I swear my legs are like jello. I eat healthy (aside from my addiction to ramen and nutella. Except not together, even I'm not that gross) always take the stairs when possible, walk 98% of the time and work out when possible, so I know I'm not a disgusting fuck. I know I'm a model, and I know people have walked up to me and told me I'm one of the most beautiful person they've seen (albeit, they're usually severely intoxicated, or trying to get in my pants),but that doesn't stop me from stressing out over my hair, my thighs or my chest. My feet are insanely wide; so much so an exboyfriend "lovingly" referred to my feet as triangles, or shovels.
This isn't just a pity party post though. Our culture's unsettling. We're programed to hate everything about ourselves, and strive to be someone else. My generation's taught no one's skinny enough, no one's cup size is large enough, your waist isn't small enough.
I am Jane's starving insides. Even looking in my own fridge and pantry; nothing but Lean Cuisines in the freezer, celery and 100 calorie packs in the fridge, Special K and Crystal Light in the pantry. Everyone's striving to starve themselves smaller, fight off the freshman fifteen with Easy Tones and anything Low Cal.
I understand that obesity is the main epidemic of our nation, and health is of the upmost concern. But that doesn't mean I don't feel for the girls wasting away, with their weights in the double digits.